Letterman's Top 10 Signs You're a Gay Cowboy (based on "Brokeback Mountain"... obviously):
10. Your saddle is Versace 9. Instead of "Home On The Range," you sing "It's Raining Men" 8. You enjoy ridin', ropin', and redecoratin' 7. You sold your livestock to buy tickets to Mamma Mia 6. After watching reruns of Gunsmoke, you have to take a cold shower 5. Native Americans refer to you as "Dances With Men" 4. You've been lassoed more times than most steers 3. You're wearing chaps, yet your "ranch" is in Chelsea 2. Instead of a saloon, you prefer a salon 1. You love riding, but you don't have a horse
After getting back home from Chicago last night at about 7PM (more deets on that later), I am yet again at an airport getting ready to fly back out again. I am in NC today and Atlanta on Tuesday and Wednesday. Then hopefully, mercifully, my travel will be over for the rest of the year. Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile.
Senate Majority Leader Bill Frist says "Supreme Court justice nominees deserve an up-or-down vote, and it would be absolutely wrong to deny him (Alito) that." I guess women who the Christian far-right deem not conservative are an exception to that rule. Bill, did you tell your own party members that a few months ago?
My new furniture arrived today... delivered by two tasty looking delivery men... one Latino and one Italian (with an awesome ass). It took a little re-arranging and tweaking to get it all to fit. When I measured out the room to select the furniture, I did not take my gi-normous Christmas tree into account. But it is all in and looks nice.
Was just thinking about some of the old time Christmas carols. It seems though like many of them get redone each year by boy bands and bleach blond airheads. I wonder what would happen if they updated the lyrics of some of the songs. Here are some suggestions for titles or verses:
Jiggle bell-y, jiggle bell-y, jiggle bell-y rock (I believe that I and not Mr. Claus was the inspiration for this song)
Wank away, wank away, wank away all
Away with a Stranger, his crib and his bed
Who's Child is This?(A favorite in the Bronx)
The Little Sissy Boy
I Came Upon a Chelsea Queer
Frosty the Cokehead, was a tragic, sloppy mess
We Three Queens from Chelsea are, sucking tricks that traverse afar
Go tell it to your mother, that you’re queer and wear her underwear
On Saturday I turned over the task of decorating my Christmas tree to 15 drunk rugby players... what was I thinking?
Actually, it was a helluva lot of fun. We managed to put away 2 cases of beer, a bottle of vodka, a bottle of rum and a bottle of Johnny Walker Blue (Joseph?!?!). It was good company and a lot of laughs (Paul, you are always the highlight of the party).
I took a lot of grief for having so many Christmas decorations (yes, I am gay), for having my refrigerator magnets too organized (I have a disorder that causes me to have problems with asymmetry), having curtain valances on my windows (again, gay( and various other things. I inherited the Christmas decorating fetish from my mother and got to keep half of the decorations my wife and I had amassed over about 10 years. Hey, I need all the help I can get to put me in a holiday mood. And it worked. I got to kick off the holiday season partying with some, if not most, of my favorite people in NYC. There was plenty of merry-making. And just after everyone left at about 2:30 (OK, I had to push the last two out 'cuz it seemed like they were going to have sex in my kitchen), it started to snow outside. Deck the halls, let it snow, hark the herald angels, don we know our gay apparel and fa-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la. It's Christmas time in the city.
My tree may be a little ghetto... about a third of the lights aren't working and sections of unlit lights are tucked (or almost tucked) into the inside of the tree. Yet I have managed to avoid the temptation of redoing the whole thing. I am a bit anal about my Christmas tree. We will see how long I can avoid the temptation. I did buy two new boxes of lights yesterday, just in case I can't take it anymore. But the good news is the tree is up and the place is decorated. Bring on the holidays, I am ready. I even have some shopping done. Now the debate will be to wrap now or wrap later (you know later is going to win -- I need to work on my procrastinating after the holidays).
Normally I am a last minute Christmas shopper, opting to get all of my holiday gift buying done in the week before Christmas. I do this for several reasons. First and foremost, I am lazy and I procrastinate. Second, my work schedule is often very busy and I work until 7 PM or so each night so find it tough to shop during the week and end up catching on on personal affairs and relationships on the weekend. Third, I thrive under the pressure of not only last minute buying for everyone on my list but doing a good job of it. I actually enjoy the hustle and bustle out on the street and in the stores right before the holiday.
This year however is a little different. I started my shopping this year on 12/1, which is really early for me. I realize some people start and are even done in early fall. But to me that takes the fun and the challenge out of it. With that being said, I had to go to Target to pick up some things for myself tonight, so I actually started my Christmas shopping as well. Admittedly, I did not buy a lot of gifts. But I have some, which is more than I normally do at this time.
Some of the things that I picked up for myself tonight were things that I have been procrastinating about for quite sometime now. For instance, I have been living in this apartment for almost 3 years and in that time I have never owned an iron and ironing board. The only thing that I would normally press are dress shirts, and I have them laundered. So I haven't especially needed one. But lately I have been finding myself occasionally wishing I had one. So tonight I bought an ironing board that hangs from the back of a door (my pantry door) and I also picked up a simple iron. Now no more wrinkled khakis.
I also wanted, or more like needed, two new throw pillows for my bed. The last set of bed linens and shams that I bought a few months just looked sort of bland on the bed and it really needed some color. I found these really nice reddish throw pillows that spruce up the bed and I also found a really nice matching chenille throw for the foot of the bed. I must admit, it looks nice.
Another thing that has been bothering me was my kitchen trash can. It was this white plastic thing with a lid that always looked dirty and was getting harder and harder to clean. I ened up picking up a very trendy looking stainless steel and black trash can to replace it. Speaking of trash (just kidding), I also ended up getting some Christmas decorations... holiday welcome mat, lit figurines (Frosty, Santa and bells) for the kitchen windows, lit garland for the top of the kitchen cupboards, ornaments for the tree and some candles. I am putting my tree up this weekend. In fact, I am doing something I never did before. I am having some friends over for a tree decorating party (part of the reason why I had to make some of these purchases tonight). So I want to get the rest of the apartment decorated before they come, so that the only thing to do is to dress the tree and get my friends to help me raise it up onto the stand that I put it on.
Next week the new furniture comes for the living room and I hope to also have new mini-blinds installed on all the windows. So hopefully by Christmas and especially New Years (when my special guest is coming from Chicago to visit... stay tuned for details on that) the apartment will be looking nice.
I would have like to have had the LR (and the BR) re-carpeted too, but I just don't have the time. I got the landlord to agree to split the cost of the carpeting with me as what is in the LR and BR is looking a little dodgy. That will have to be a project for after the holiday, along with finishing my bedroom suite by replacing the hodge podge collection of storage "furniture" I currently have. I want to get a large cherry dresser and an armoire. I will be so stoked to finally have a grown-up apartment with grown-up furniture. Something that I have not felt like I had since my separation and move from my house in MA. The really cool thing is this stuff will be mine... all mine... my taste, my colors, my styles. Previously my wife and I compromised and negotiated when we made these types of purchases. And for some reason, her father always seemed to have a say in what we purchased and often the items where really his taste more so than mine.
Tomorrow I need to finish cleaning, get out the decorations, make a liquor store run and meet some friends to go see Rent, the movie. All of this is on top of work, which continues to be insane. Saturday I need to put out the rest of the decorations, put up the tree (yes, it is fake... I travel too much for a real tree), get some groceries and prepare for my little get together. Sunday I might just pass out and be a slug. Tuesday I have to get the old furniture out of the apartment to make room for the new furniture. I will need to try and find a volunteer to help. It is only two pieces. Hopefully I can bribe someone with dinner.